Its Hurt Badly.

So... i really dunno what to say in here coz you guys really cant understand my feeling now. I have a fren that i always caring her so much and always help her in anytime she need. But a challenge is given by God who are trying to let me full fill it. Here come the challenge. This week are going to have a Paintball competition and I know that my fren are very excited about it. But after i heard about last year boys team get hurt and i really worry about my team that we are going to get the same problem. So i told my mum about I go training at the PISA Paintball Club and RM200 is pay for the fee and pallets. After 2 days training at there.. i get some experience about the game and i really get hurt on my leg and hand. But i feel thats okay for me so next time i can avoid it. I telling all this to my team member so they know more about the game. But she starting to say that i forcing her to enter the practice and she doesn't get my meaning. I get some info that during the competition they only giving us a helmet and a something like a thick vest. They not giving the thick shirt and pant for us to protect our skin. And they are not going to in-charge if anything happen to us. So i thinking to tell my team about this. But the things i get is nothing and change it into a fight with her. I really hurt after hearing what she said that i treat her like shit.. doesn't think about whatever i did and i didnt think about the others feeling. I'm still okay with this. But the worst things is whatever I did to her is just a normal fren will did. And doesn't need me to do it at all. And all the things i have done is a shit. Its shit.... i treat her as a good fren that i ever have but all things is shit. She didnt need it from me.. I didnt blame her for all this because she make me realize that the things i done is useless. I just wan to ask myself why i am so stupid.

당신이 날 내가 네 친구가 될 적합 아니란 걸 깨닫게하게하기 때문에 내가 당신에게 미안 해요.